I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
this will be a night to untag.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
