i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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