did you get engaged???
Soap is not a condiment
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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