these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
