I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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