vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
