we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
