one two three fourrrrnication!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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