I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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