We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
