if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
