Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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