yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize