i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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