I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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