My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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