as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
