Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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