He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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