I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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