Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
