do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize