it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
