I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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