my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Mom said you looked used
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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