He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
