Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
sex in a hospital.. check
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
