No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
