after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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