I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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