I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
