The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
