The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
