Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
