i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
