you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize