I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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