Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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