This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
