my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
