she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
