it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
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When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
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I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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