you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
