i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
