I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
