so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
