i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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