So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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