I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize