Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
