oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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