So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I am midnight drunk by noon
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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