i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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