so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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