O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize