oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
