sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
