she woke up with a sticky ear
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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