Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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