I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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