areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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