just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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