she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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