the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
